Star Trek TNG Meets Quantum Leap: The Musical
by Alex Redstone
Summary: Ok, well this stroy is a result of too little sleep, too much sugar, and too much TV. I find it very funny though. PG for some mild language. Please R


**Star Trek TNG Meets Quantum Leap: The Musical  
**

"Make it so, number one," the captain stood defiantly in front of the view screen. "Fire on my order, these Romulans must not get away with our Charmin Ultra!"

Suddenly, there was a blinding flash of blue light, visible to no one on the bridge. The captain's proud stance faltered and he stepped back to regain his balance.

"Are you all right, sir?" Worf asked.

"Um…yeah." Sam looked himself up and down, "Oh boy."

"Now, sir?"

"Now Wha…" He turned around to face the voice that had been speaking to him, and was startled by the large Klingon's appearance. "…_what?"_

Suddenly, a door opened in the middle of the bridge and out walked a man dressed in strange clothes, smoking a cigar and humming the Charmin Ultra song.

"Fire on them. Captain, you sure you're alright?"

"No, I mean, hold on."

"We can't talk here, Sam. There should be a vacant room through…" Al looked at his hand-link and around bridge. "Through that door," He indicated Picard's ready room with his cigar.

"Um, just hold off, lets see what happens," Sam directed at Worf.

"But, sir!?!?! OUR TOILET PAPER," he growled.

"You heard the Captain," Riker said rising.

"I will be right back, just don't do _anything_." Sam turned away and went through the door to where Al was already waiting.

"Al, what the hell is going on here? What the hell happened to only leaping within my own life time?"

"I don't know Sam! Just take it easy, take it easy. Ziggy is working on it."

Sam began pacing the ready room. "But I can't be the captain of a….what the hell is this? Where the hell am I?"

"Today is September 24, 2326, and you are WAY farther from Earth than anyone has dreamed humanly possible. That is all Ziggy's got."

He began to freak out, "What do you mean that is all Ziggy could get?"

**"**Well, Sam, think about it. Ziggy works by pulling old records and news and that stuff. It is only the year 2000. So, technically, none of this has happened yet and won't for over 300 more years."

"Then how the hell did I leap here?" He said in a strained voice.

"Don't look at me; you're the one with seven degrees."

"How can I change the history of something that hasn't happened yet?"

"Well maybe you are here to keep something from ever happening in the first place. Relax, Sam. Just hang around, be confident, after all you are the Captain and you seem to be in a bit of a stand off with…what did that weird looking guy call them? The Romulans? Just figure out what you need to do to leap. And enjoy that wonderful looking lady."

"Al…" Sam stood up and walked out of the ready room door. "Okay, people," realizing he still knew no ones name. "Suggestions are welcome."

"I say we fire on them, I won't let them have any of MY toilet paper!"

"I agree with Worf, we need our paper," Riker chimed in adamantly.

"Sir, we have complaints coming in from all over the ship," Data informed everyone.

Al popped up next to Data's Comm. Panel, "Sam, you gotta see this!" He pointed at the Comm. Panel with an amazed look on his face.

"Q, is this another one of your games?" Data asked looking straight at Al.

"You can see me? Oh Crap. Um, Sam I am gonna go see what Ziggy can dig up about this pale guy being able to see me. I will check back later, but it looks like this one is all up to you. Figure out what you need to do so you can leap!" He began humming the jingle again as he opened the door with the hand-link. While in the door-way he turned back to Sam, "Those damn jingles always get stuck in my head!" With a slight wave to Sam, he left.

"You all right Data?" Riker asked with a confused look.

Sam walked back to the center chair humming the jingle. His eyes lit up, "Al, you're a genius." _These people love their Charmin so much, that is what this is about! I must be here to get it back from those Romulans._

"Al? Sir?" Worf asked.

Cutting off Data's response to Riker and ignoring Worf, he said "Okay fire at them aiming to disable, as soon as possible derive a way to get that paper back!" He hoped he sounded commanding enough.

Apparently he did. Riker and the Bridge crew came to life. Sam sat back and watched these people, who he had known all of five minutes; follow his vague order to the letter.

"We got it all back," Worf said with his Klingon sneer of a smile. "And just in time, I have to go NOW!" He stepped back from his panel and Sam watched him exit the bridge.

Just as Al was stepping through the holo-door, there was a flash of light and Q was standing in front, blocking Al from Data's view.

"I guess you humans, and your dog," He pointed at Worf who had stopped in the door way when Q appeared, "are not as puny as I thought you were."

"Q!"

"Very good, Mister Worf." Q turned to Sam, "You got your Charmin back, this calls for a celebration, Picard, do you mind?"

"Um…" Sam glanced at Al for advice, Al shrugged. "Uh, no, go right ahead."

Q snapped his fingers and the Charmin Music started playing. Worf started singing the jingle and walked off the bridge to the bathroom, carrying his prized Charmin Ultra. Data, Riker, and Q started a Congo line shaking their butt to the rhythm and singing the jingle.

"I like this guy, Sam," Al said joining the Congo line behind Riker. Sam turned to him with an exasperated look and leaped with another invisible flash of light.

Again, the steady stance the Captain had been holding faltered. "What the hell?" Picard asked himself. He had a vague memory of what had transpired on board to lead up to this loud music and dancing, But he felt as if the memory was not truly his own.

"Are you all right, Captain?" Troi asked him.

"Oh, yes, yes counselor, I just need to use the restroom." He turned and walked off the bridge.

Picard pushed the door open to the men's room and the air was filled with the sound of a Klingon singing, "Charmin Ultra, less is more…"

_What the hell,_ Picard thought. "Cha cha cha, Charmin!"


End file.
